Lactose intolerant and coconut milk keeps sneaking into curries — how do I ask restaurants to hold it?

Be specific: no coconut milk, no cow milk, no curd, no cheese — vegetarian alone is not enough because coconut milk is plant and still in half the pots. Point at the gravy and say without coconut milk, dry vegetable, or grilled fish with lemon if you eat it. A small phone note in English plus Sinhala helps. Many kitchens can plate from a less creamy pot if you ask before they ladle. I will not invent menu codes. Thank them when they get it right.